Venus v. Mars

The last week of 2012 is meant to burn remaining PTO days, and due to a year of good health (woohoo!) I was fortunate enough to have three left over. I decided to push them out as long as possible, and took them the last three days of the year.

Originally Manfriend and I had planned on leaving for our annual ski vacation the morning of my first day off, Thursday. Rather, his BFF (yes, guys have them too) was in town for a short window of time on Friday so we adjusted our schedule so they could frolic and giggle together for twelve glorious hours.

This meant I had a full 48-weekday hours to do…something. Usually I only take time off to travel, so tripling my weekend with two of those days free left me a little lost. Since I am the best girlfriend ever – literally of ALL time – I decided to paint the spare bedroom at Manfriend’s house where, mind you, I don’t live or pay rent. Since he unofficially deemed the spare room “mine” I took it upon myself to paint it a modern palette of yellow and grey.

Why now you ask? Well, I got a sewing machine from Santa (he’s the man) and it’s going to live in that room. If I set up my new, shiny toy there first, I would completely forget about ridding the world of the hideous brown/orange that previously coated the walls. My life would become dedicated to cutting quilting squares, hemming things that don’t really need to be hemmed and making people pajama bottoms and pillow cases. For real you guys, I am a pro (at those two things).

We trekked to Lowe’s, our homestore of choice, and got supplies. You know how most girls would be ::blinkblink:: “pay for this” ::blinkblink::? The EXACT opposite happened. As we were walking into the store, I was like “ummm ::pause:: you know how I bought all those groceries? Maybs you could get one of the two gallons of paint?” And naturally, Manfriend said yes.

You know why? Because THIS girl not only bought the groceries, made the food then decided to paint a room that she has no legal right to and also pay for 50% of the paint. Generally speaking I think girls are like “it’s not mine, YOU pay for it.” And really, why buy the paint when you get the painter for free? …that was a poor analogy. What I mean is, why offer to pay for 100% when all that is asked of you is 50%?

The man is smarter than I thought. It’s like he jedi-mind-“tricked” me into thinking the natural assumption would be for me to pay for the paint. Genius. Simply stated.

So, I spent my two days off priming, taping and painting. I showered infrequently and slept until 9am. It was surprisingly glorious.

While waiting for paint to dry, I decided to go to Target to pick up the THREE below items:


Instead, I completely lost my shit at Target. Between sleeping in, not showering and barely making myself look presentable for public getting out of the house was a feat in itself. (FYI: if you haven’t seen my hair unwashed, you won’t TRULY get this. Just know that my morning hair surpasses all morning hair ever. Not kidding.) I was definitely NOT prepared for the Target after-Christmas clearance. And if there is anything I love more than sleep, it’s a sale. ESPECIALLY a Target after-Christmas clearance sale.

So there I was, aimlessly wandering the aisles of Target in my Lulu pants with my messy hair and overslept eyes. A real sight I am sure. Just as a reminder I came for this:


And I left with this:


Evidently, in addition to painting rooms for Manfriend (at my own 50% expense) I have also decided to start decorating. Before it was just me repurposing things I already owned (here! take my things! FREE!). At some point between the paint fumes and the dirty hair, I morphed into a wannabe housewife that needs to decorate with Target clearance decor.

And, if you were wondering, the wine was the last thing in my overflowing cart. Once I came to and realized that I had spiraled into that, I needed something to calm my nerves.

And calm it did.

PS – that faux-leather ottoman/storage thing looks bitchin’ next to the 80’s style sectional. I would totally buy it again and again.

PPS – while I was technical on a paid day off, I likely would have been better off going to work and saving myself lotso money. Idle hands…

Welcome 2013!

Hello, reader! Remember four years ago when I started this fabulous blog? I was job-less, on a spending-spree and time was plentiful. Ah, the good old days of unemployment when I still didn’t go to the gym because I was sleeping in and I barely made it to work at the restaurant at 4pm. 

Even with my days open and free, I still had trouble staying on task with my blogging but I was dating enough weirdos that I had ample to write about. And my fans (you)  liked my blog SO much that it went straight to the inflated place in my head. So, every time I baked something yummy and my roommate said, “that was delicious” what I heard him say is “this pie is amazing you should start a blog with a supporting twitter/Facebook/ account!!!” Or when I started running, and my aunt was all, “that’s so cool” I translated it to “you should log that via the interwebs!” 

Epic fail. 

Three blogs. THREE. Who starts three when they can barely keep up one? I started a baking blog to rebel against weight loss and log my Grandma’s recipes. But really, after Thanksgiving who has time to think about pies? I gained 10 pounds so fast all I had to do was LOOK at chocolate and BOOM another 4 ounces. I started running to counteract those same 10 pounds. And it was so fun and time consuming, I started another blog.  Both had corresponding twitter account – did I tell you I don’t like twitter? That I only use it when I am 16 ounces deep and watching football? 

So here we are, the beginning of a new year. I keep reading Facebook statuses (stati?) along the lines of, “omg 2012 was so hard but I learned so much – clean slate!” From personal experience I can tell you the slate isn’t really clean. That people still remember that time you had a few too many cosmos and lost a shoe somewhere. (Never gonna live that one down). For you, the new year is a time to make resolutions that will last between 3 and 5 months, overcrowd the gym so every day patrons complain and go on a detox of some sort. And for me, it’s a time to swear back writing – This means if I have a block, I might post a past recipe from Sexier than Meatloaf. Or remind you of the time I thought I might wheeze myself to death at Greenlake from Woggin’ and Joggin’. Something is better than nothing people. 

Cheers to you, cheers to 2013 and most importantly – CHEERS TO ME.