Clearwire: Not So Clear

Dear Clearwire,

You suck.
I wish I could say it, or scream it, to your stupid black modem-face however your connection is so awful that I am forced to write this from work. What’s that you say? Yes, I should be focused on updating my current Excel spreadsheet and continue to play personal travel agent to myself as I layout my upcoming work-related travel. Unfortunately I have been reduced to only checking my e-mail/blogging/facebook chatting while at work because my computer is completely useless at home no thanks to your “new and improved” Clear service.
No matter how many times I move you, or how far I distance you from my router, you still continue to suck. All. The. Time.
I hate you.
I loathe you so much in fact I am seriously considering Comcast. After wasting yet another hour of my time LiveChat-ing with one of your useless P.O.S. customer service people, I have lost all hope. As if I don’t have other things to be doing…like searching for new shoes on or watching 3 consecutive hours of Law and Order (thank you USA for feeding my addiction, leaving me sleep-deprived and late to work, I really do love you for it.)
Luckily for you the Comcast LiveChat operator was just as helpless, useless and ding-batty as your customer service. She bought you an extra few days before I pull your plug. And thanks to month-to-month contracts and no right-to-life laws for ISPs, your plug will be pulled.
So enjoy what weak and little bandwidth you have left, because it will be your last. Something tells me you have exhausted even that, making you more dysfunctional than when I left you this morning. Had there been a massive snow storm, similar to that of 2008 during which I was forced to “work” from home, I would most certainly already have dropped you 19 floors to your eminent death.
Again, I hate you.
Best of Luck in 2010 you crappy waste of Internet.